It’s been a while since my opinionated self was last teed off, but there was something in the press releases regarding the new Duchess of Sussex’s coat of arms that really annoyed me. I haven’t posted anything on the coat of arms as there is so much about it that I don’t understand or just find ridiculous. There are numerous blogs that have been posting a ton of good stuff on the topic though.
But the coat of arms in and of itself is not really what bothers me. What it does is highlight a trend that I, and I’m sure many others would have noticed over the past few months. Just look at this headline:
“Her biggest break in royal tradition yet…” What is this, a world record attempt to see how many rules or how big a rule current royals can break? I was pretty sure that I’d seen similar phrasing before, so I had a brief look to see how often this theme comes up with regards to the newly minted Sussexes.
There are literally, pages upon pages of articles listed on google about Harry and/or Meghan “Breaking Royal Tradition/Breaking Protocol”. The shot above does not even begin to illustrate how many articles there are out there with the headline being some form of “breaking tradition/protocol/rules.” And before anyone goes “it’s the media’s fault”, the BRF does have some leverage over what the media reports, especially in the UK, so I doubt that we would be inundated with so many similar articles if this wasn’t somehow linked to a PR push of sorts. (Why they push in this particular direction is beyond me.)
Rule breaking has been a recurring theme in the media for the entirety of the Sussex’s relationship. It’s almost as if they’re both stuck in a perpetual teenage phase where rule breaking is cool just because it’s rule breaking. Where is the logic in that, I do not know. But it really does seem to be just petty rule breaking for the sake of rule breaking. Because what kinds of “rules” are they breaking anyway? Here’s one right under the headline:
To name just a few of the things that the media has so nicely pointed out for us over the past few months (this last month especially), the Sussex’s “rule/tradition breaking” consists of being total rebels over things like a cake flavor, kissing for photographers on the steps of St George’s Chapel when none has ever kissed there for photographers before, having a foreigner speak at their wedding, having only very young wedding attendants, choosing their own ‘style’ of wedding music (these ones are from legit articles btw, I’m not making them up). Also, leaking on social media, not waiting until marriage to undertake tours together/issue statements on official letterheads (by the non-royal fiancee), no walking down the aisle with the bride’s father (many women do this for various reasons, but Meghan’s the progressive trendsetter y’all), not inviting family to their
wedding while inviting a ton of people they may not know very well, possibly spending taxpayer money on leisure trips together while dating, announcing that one or both are feminists on multiple occasions, etc. Real ground breaking stuff that gets touted as “modern” and “progressive”.
Now what kinds of rules did they NOT break? Here’s one example that I’ve posted about before:
The Sussexes did not see it as modern/necessary to go against rules/traditions (whether formal or just within the family) that involve bridal jewellery (the type of wedding ring for the bride and the source of materials used – the Queens vault; the bridal tiara tradition and the tiara source – again, the Queen’s vault; the Cartier wedding gifts; the Diana ring), the carriage ride (even though this is one tradition that ~30K UK citizens WANTED them to break), the multiple receptions with their dress (and suit?) changes, the acceptance of titles by the newly married couple, the receipt of a home appointed by the Crown with an upkeep that is potentially financed by the taxpayer, etc, etc. I mean, who would dare break such rules/traditions? Not the feminist, progressive modernizing-the-monarchy Sussexes of all people. SMH.
For all the rule breaking the Sussexes have done, I cannot recall them having ever broken one that “matters” in terms of making a social statement. They could’ve made really strong, positive ones about family and race issues at the wedding for example, but they fell short on that one too. They’re just happy to “break tradition” willy-nilly and be touted as “modernizing” and “progressive” as long as it doesn’t have anything (negative) to do with their bottom line or stop them from parading in front of an audience. If it costs them and not someone else, then by no means do they want to break tradition. Honestly, every time I see a title like this:
…I wonder what the hell these people are smoking. The BRF may be an ancient institution and uphold many traditions, but they are fairly modern by world standards in the way they operate. As stuffy as being a royal wife may be, these BRF women have more rights and are more involved/included/acknowledged than women in some other royal families/other parts of the world have been IMO. In all honesty, if ever there was a royal bride whose name I would consider in the same sentence as the phrase “modernizing the royal family” it would be Lalla Salma of Morocco (who sadly, the media reports as being recently divorced).
As a bit of background, prior to Lalla Salma’s wedding to the King of Morocco, Moroccan women lacked a lot of the rights that western women enjoy and were subject to the decision making of their male counterparts. The monarch had multiple wives whom he never publicly acknowledged and swapped out as he pleased. Lalla Salma, a computer science graduate, was the woman whose marriage changed the status quo. She was the first Moroccan monarch’s wife to be publicly acknowledged, champion charitable causes, accompany her husband at public events and represent him in an official capacity. She was the first woman to get a Moroccan King to promise her that she would be the only wife, and that he would not hide her away. During her tenure as consort, women within Moroccan society gained rights and privileges that were formerly restricted to men. Now that is what I call modernizing the monarchy. Modernizing a society even. That is royal leverage used well, and I say this of both Lalla Salma and her (ex?) husband. This is an example of the kind of effort a royal couple would have to put in to get the kind of acclaim the Sussexes are trying to court. But it doesn’t happen over night. It took the Moroccans years, and they’re still in the process of change.
I would also add that not all monarchies currently need modernizing IMHO. The need for modernizing stems from a cultural climate that is stuck in a system of beliefs/values/traditions that a lot of the “modern world” had already left behind. This need for “modernizing” is less pressing in the BRF where women and men are equally acknowledged and able to succeed the reigning monarch. I know it’s not as simple as that, but I honestly don’t think the British royals have it that bad. If they’re not careful, I feel they’ll modernize the UK out of a royal family altogether. There are certainly things that I would like to see the BRF change, but none of it has anything to do with cake flavors, guest-lists or proclamations of grandeur. Why “break traditions” in an attempt to modernize a monarchy in ways that really aren’t needed? (Why does it matter to the world if royals eat fruit cake or some other cake at weddings? How does the music they play/listen to better the world?…You get the picture). If they really want to “modernize the monarchy” the Sussexes had better start doing it in ways that count – and by that I mean in ways that will also benefit others and not just themselves.
My apologies for the uncomfortable length of this rant-y post. Takeaway points: I’m sick of the endless “breaking tradition/protocol/rules” and “modernizing” articles regarding the Sussexes and the BRF in general. The BRF doesn’t need modernizing and this PR push counts for squat until one of them actually does something that brings about positive change, both for the BRF and their subjects. Until then, they can lay off the PR. It’s just window dressing – horrible, tacky window dressing that does the opposite of “selling” the BRF.
Excellent post. They really aren’t breaking anything they just want everyone to believe they are trailblazers.
House of Brat 