I do not think the British press will wait a long time. Daily Mail will hit first. They alert people to the Oprah interview … in a small tab. The games will start early June for me.

I think Fleet Street will only throw soft punches from here until after the main royal events in June are done. I’m guessing after Ascot is over we might see a change. Probably late July or August for big shit for sure.

UK papers are going to have a fun summer.

Wedding Round-Up Post

anonymoushouseplantfan:

Cheesus, I have 100+ anons. Sorry, guys, I’ll be out most of the day, but I’ll do the best I can when I come back. 

Here’s the post I wrote yesterday. It’s super-long, so no pics:

Oh, well, I reached my posting limit, so I might as well do the round-up. (yes, this was yesterday)

Sorry about that guys. I’ll pace myself next time. I’m also going to start clustering anons and answering in groups as I’m hitting posting limits waaaaay too early every day.

Anyway, wedding roundup. I love overall themes and I think the theme here was “last minute save by the BRF.”

Remember when Harry reminded Meghan “you have a wedding to plan” during the Foundation Forum? Remember the invitations without his KVCO? Remember how we all wondered about the last minute cake and flowers?

Yep, it really was that slapdash.

Titles

But let’s start from the beginning–the titles. Duke of Sussex, Earl of Dumbarton, Baron Kilkeel. A rogue baron known for his outlaw marriages and divorces, Dumb-arton, and a small Irish village with a matching reference. You can’t beat that.

The DM is already starting with the “The Only Way Is Sussex” jokes.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5748627/Funnyman-James-Corden-host-royal-wedding-reception-Frogmore-House.html

The Program

Oops!

http://people.com/royals/meghan-markle-prince-harry-royal-wedding-order-of-service/

Décor

They really did just throw together a whole bunch of fake flowers. This looked positively nightmarish. I love the New Yorker description:

I walked in, through the “cascading hedgerow” that was wreathed around the church’s west door, and caught the full impact of the floral arrangements within. So overpowering was this that, to be frank, I wasn’t sure whether I should be taking notes or gathering pollen. If the guests had stayed in their pews for long enough, they would have ended up producing their own honey.

https://www.newyorker.com/news/daily-comment/harry-and-meghan-look-to-the-future-but-some-royals-never-change

Guests

The guest arrivals–Amal, Idris, James Blunt, James Corden, and a cast of millions…well, six hundred anyway. This truly looked like a red carpet with the guests posing and preening for the cameras.

http://deadline.com/2018/05/royal-wedding-photos-meghan-markle-prince-harry-celebrity-guests-arrivals-1202394501/

Interestingly, Pippa and Fergie seem to be classified as Hollywood celebs and Kate and the other royals aren’t.

This was the one part of the wedding that was definitely thought up in advance. That trip to LA in December was definitely Meghan putting together her dream celebrity guest list and getting the agents on board. Note that all of her agents were invited (of course!). This think looked and felt like a Hollywood party. I had an anon who said that it was “the Oscars she never had.” Yep, that describes it exactly.

No foreign royals (because they had no “personal connection” LOLOLOLOL). Very few non-US/UK people (even though they supposedly “own” the Commonwealth now). Few aristo friends (seated BEHIND the celebrity acquaintances, LOLOLOL). Tons of celebs that they don’t even know.

My favorite part was the DM describing Oprah as “US chat show queen.” LOLOLOLOL.

Guess the DM was right about that six-hour meeting with Doria and the pile of presents. I imagine we have an interview in the near future. I bet the BRF is thrilled to pieces about that. Not.

I gotta say, I was expecting celebs, but I wasn’t expecting THIS MANY celebs. This was a full Hollywood takeover.

But the aristo crowd still put up a good showing. Everyone looked lovely (even Fergie!). Eugenie and Bea looked cute. Chelsy, Joss, Pippa and Cress were gorgeous (even if Pippa did look like the Arizona iced tea can). Kitty Spencer stole the freaking show. She looked amazing.

Was Fergie the happiest guest there? She was positively ecstatic.

https://us.hellomagazine.com/royalty/2018052048764/jack-brooksbank-sweet-moment-sarah-ferguson/

BTW, Chelsy and her friend smh-ing at all the celebs in attendance was one of my favorite moments. You can tell they are trying to figure out who all these people are. That was a big contrast, the celebs were all greeting each other in a very showy way and the aristos were all taking their seats and wondering what exactly they had wandered into.

The family looked great, if a little recycled and mournful. There was a marked blend-into-the-background effort here. Everyone seemed to be trying to be calling as little attention to themselves as possible.

I’m not sure I like Sophie’s new love for the ¾ skirt, but Louise looked great. Zara looked amazing, it a little shell-shocked by the fact that this seemed to actually be happening. Kate and the Middletons recycled like crazy and managed not too laugh maniacally through the whole thing, a testament to Middletonian good manners.

The family show saved this from being just a crap celeb wedding. Charlotte’s wave stole the show.

But the theme of the wedding was clear from the beginning. Tons of celebs and they were given preferential treatment over even old friends. The architecture of the chapel worsened this effect as there was clearly a VIP seating area. Oprah’s “I can’t choose my own seat? Don’t you know who I am?” moment did not help. Well, we know what Slutsex’s priorities are now. God, what a pair of assholes these two are.

But I love being able to use that nickname. Thanks, HM!!!!

Anyway, the DM did a seating graph, just to make sure everyone got the point.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5748561/Royal-wedding-whos-sitting-best-seats-Harry-Meghans-marriage.html

Here are the pics of Meghan’s side of the aisle. I think the Royal Housewives crowd would have done a better job.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-5748085/Meghan-Markles-closest-girlfriends-support-wedding-day.html

The Groom Arrival

Boy, they looked like they were going to a funeral. I think the goal here was simple elegance and this is a uniform that Harry consistently gets praise for…when he uses it for Remembrance Day. It is very somber and sad. I think they should have picked something else.

Notably, there were no “cute” Will and Harry moments. You could cut the tension with a dull knife at this event.

Time tried to go for “sweet” brother moments, but they had no luck.

http://time.com/5260147/prince-william-prince-harry-royal-wedding/

People compared the brothers’ two wedding appearances and the difference is striking.

http://people.com/royals/royal-wedding-compare-prince-william-prince-harry-best-man/

The Bride Arrival

I thought this was actually well done. No Spencer tiara, which was a good call. They looked lovely in the car and I’m sure Doria got a Cartier nose ring for the occasion. Nothing but class for these ladies, lol.

Elle, by the way, thought the “diamond” nose ring was the epitome of “chic.” I can’t handle it, the coverage for this fiasco is amazing.

https://www.harpersbazaar.com/celebrity/latest/a20106901/meghan-markle-mother-doria-ragland-royal-wedding-dress/

The tiara looked fug as hell, but the arrival in the car was not bad. For a minute there, I thought they might pull this off.

Then Meghan got out of the car.

The Dress

Well, I got the designer wrong (Stella ended up doing the evening dress), but this was exactly the silhouette I was picturing. She tried out the bateau neckline with that fug Theory top in Wales.

Never in a million years did I think she would pick the house that designed Kim Kardashian’s wedding dress, but there you go.

https://www.eonline.com/news/937038/meghan-markle-kim-kardashian-and-more-stars-who-wed-in-givenchy

http://people.com/royals/royal-wedding-meghan-markle-audrey-hepburn-givenchy-brides/

As I suspected, it looked meh and underwhelming in the Windsor Castle setting. The dress (the whole wedding, in fact, strewn flowers and rustic cake and all) would have looked lovely in Scotland or Norfolk or a place like that. It looked bland in Windsor and it didn’t seem to fit very well. The bouquet was meh. The veil looked like mosquito netting.

It was also JLO’s gown.

http://people.com/royals/royal-wedding-meghan-markle-dress-like-jennifer-lopez-wedding-planner/

The kids were cute because kids are always cute, but the stark black uniforms were just as sad and funeral-looking as the adults’.

Again, the BRF saved the day by planting a honking big (if abysmally ugly) tiara on her to make up for the underwhelming dress. They also announced that Harry had picked the bouquet flowers himself, a truly ludicrous statement since the bouquet matched those of the flower girls. I think they realized this and turned it into “one” flower or the forget-me-nots or something. LOL, I love how the KP lying is to painfully obvious now.

BTW, People identifies the true “Cinderella” story here. Meghan once struggled to get “Big Designers” to loan her clothes.

http://people.com/royals/juliet-angus-claims-no-designers-would-dress-meghan-markle/

and the messy bun was “supposed” to come loose. LOLOLOLOL. I can’t stop laughing.

http://people.com/royals/meghan-markle-messy-bun-royal-wedding/

The Entrance

This was carefully planned to produce a charming kid photo op and it failed utterly. All we got was Meghan impatiently waiting for less’ boys to get their act together.

They scheduled the event around the US time zones and forgot that the bright Spring sunlight would not work for photography. The skylights inside the chapel did not help, and neither did cutting down the number of photographers outside the chapel. I don’t think she has one good pic. James Whatling was, of course, the favored photog, but even he couldn’t get a pic without harsh shadows and bad lighting. Even the flower girl pics were bad.

And WTF with the mini-mes pageboys and flower girls? They really did dress the kids like they did the adults. This was my one huge disappointment with the ceremony. I was expecting the trainwreck of meh, but I was at least hoping the kid outfits would be awesome. They were the exact opposite of awesome. I feel like Ma Ingalls could have done a better job with a few flour sacks and her trusty sewing box.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5749359/Royal-Wedding-Harry-bride-dressed-page-boys-bridesmaids-match-themselves.html

Jessica Mulroney put on a “slutty Pippa” costume and nailed her butt shot. Hey, we all have goals.

https://www.townandcountrymag.com/society/tradition/a20758098/jessica-mulroney-pippa-middleton-royal-wedding/

The big BRF save here was having Chuck walk her down the aisle. The big laugh was Harry saying “You look amazing—I missed you” and Meghan simply replying “thank you.” True love, y’all.

The Service

Tentacle hands!!!! I thought the gospel choir was lovely and the preacher, of course, stole the show. Zara’s reactions were amazing. It was a lovely sermon, but very much in the American style, and you could tell that the Brits didn’t know what to make of it.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5747835/Bishop-raises-eyebrows-chapel.html

The royals’ faces were EPIC. Zara looked shell shocked and Kate was trying hard to keep from laughing out loud.

http://people.com/royals/royal-wedding-prince-harry-meghan-markle-preacher/

http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2018/05/19/zara-tindall-makes-herself-comfortable-at-royal-wedding-twitter-notices-her-bored-look.html

Most giggles arose during the “FIRE, FIRE, FIRE” section, but I, personally, started cackling when the reverend said “[w]hen love is the way, we actually treat each other — well, like we are actually family.” Extremely ironic words given the state of Meghan’s family. He should have said “we actually treat each other—like we are powerful celebrities with common financial and marketing interests.” That doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue though.

Justin Welby’s “x-rated line” (“together in the delight and tenderness of sexual union”) was also the cause of much merriment.

https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/latest-news/703828/Royal-Wedding-X-rated-Prince-Harry-Meghan-Markle-sexual-union-archbishop-video

Harry cried during Diana’s funeral song, of course he did.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-5750031/Harrys-tears-Diana-wedding-ceremony.html

Chelsy’s “somber” face became a meme, which is interesting because EVERYONE was wearing this face.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-5749897/Chelsy-Davys-facial-expression-ex-Prince-Harrys-wedding-sparks-meme.html

The Fly

No, I am not kidding about this.

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/meghan-praised-barely-flinching-during-12563691

The Vows.

Harry sounded sincere. I think this idiot is really in love. Meghan sounded more sincere during her Suits wedding. You’d think she’d be better at this given she’s had so much practice.

Doria did a good job and looked suitably moved. She has also had practice.

Walking out/The Kiss

Harry looked into it and poor Meghan looked like she was not enjoying it at all. I guess she’s more at home with the tentacle hands and burping. The DM called it theatrical. I guess it was, but I dunno, I think she’s done much better work before.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5749201/Harry-Meghans-Hollywood-Kiss-signalled-able-lead-day-says-body-language-expert.html

The extremely awkward kiss was the pic that made ALL THE COVERS. Wow, it looks hella stiff.

http://www.bbc.com/news/blogs-the-papers-44186589

Carriage Ride.

Well, this made up for having to kiss Harry in public. They were both positively giddy during the carriage ride. They also got their one good pic here, an overhead shot where you can’t see either of their faces. They are holding hands while they soak up the crowd noise. LOL, you can tell that’s their favorite part of the whole thing. I guess this is why they wouldn’t budge on the $40 million expense.

Meghan dropped the F-bomb. Totes relatable, y’all.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5748277/Meghan-appears-drop-F-bomb-horse-drawn-carriage-ride-Windsor-Prince-Harry.html

Family Pic

Another Chuck save as he walked Doria and Camilla out of the church. The Cambridges looked lovely. Everyone looked bloody relieved.

The Cake

What the fug was this? I expected the cake to be bad, but this was atrocious. This was another big save by the BRF as they dug up their gaudiest gold serving plates to try to make this look good. It really was that crap layer cake she was working on. Was this supposed to feed 600 people? Were they serving their guests crumbs?

The baker proudly posted a close-up of the messy frosting on her IG. She really did just spackle on some buttercream and toss on some flowers. I honestly don’t understand why this woman is not dying of embarrassment right now.

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bi_QLu9AXH4/?hl=en&taken-by=violetcakeslondon

The Reception

Stand-up (The Duchess of Kent arrived in sneakers, so I guess someone had warned her) and serving finger food. The BRF again saves the day by stuffing as many obscure words as they could into the menu to make it somewhat interesting. Still, asparagus wrapped in prosciutto? Tomato and basil? I guess the Olive Garden touch is a lovely nod to the bride’s American heritage. I bet the guests wished that the nod would have extended to all-you-can-eat breadsticks.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5749117/Harry-Meghan-enjoy-wedding-party-naughty-speeches-Princes-pals.html

Notably, Chuck did not break out the vintage vino for this crowd. That says it all.

https://us.hellomagazine.com/royalty/2015021123377/prince-william-kate-middleton-wedding-menu/

Meghan’s much vaunted tradition-breaking speech actually happened during the evening event. Ah, the hype of it all.

She finally got to thank the Academy, sorry the Royal Family, for the support. 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5748651/Meghan-Harry-head-Frogmore-House-reception-royal-wedding.html

The After-Party

LOLOLOLOL. She got Di’s divorcee ring. That is so, so creepy. She looked overjoyed about it though, even happier than she was during the carriage ride. That ring is famous because Di wore it to her 1997 clothes auction, a huge symbolic break with her royal past. I bet the royals parted with it gladly.

http://people.com/royals/something-blue-meghan-markle-shoes-ring-wedding-reception/

And STEEEEEELLLLLAAAAAAA!!!!!!! Finally, I guess she hit TWO celeb-connected designers instead of one. She’s covering all her celeb bases. Halter top was tacky as hell and didn’t fit, of course, but it gave her a long-desired Bond Girl moment. Slut strand city too.

This wedding was all about giving her the Hollywood events she couldn’t earn through her acting talents—celeb red carpet, Bond Girl scene, tiara acceptance speech.

A new Jag, without the sentimental luggage of the car Will and Kate used for their getaway, and a very James Bond exit to Frogmore House. These two really think they are filming a movie, or rather a Bond-themed car ad. He absolutely murdered his “regular joe,” “People’s Prince” image in one fell swoop.

I loved that little wave she did showing off her Diana loot. There is a refreshing honesty to Meghan Markle. She’s not going to pretend that she’d rusticate in Dumfuck, Wales with her man. She’s into it for the BS Weekly covers, the Oprah interviews, the BFF Amal leaks and the Diana loot and she’s not ashamed to show it. Harry really does have the IQ of stale hummus, doesn’t he? I think he straight out owned this ring and he just gave it to her as a present. Good luck getting it back in the divorce, dumbass.

Harry cried again during the after party. 

http://www.itv.com/news/2018-05-19/emotional-prince-harry-in-tears-as-he-talks-about-love-in-grooms-speech/

I’m honestly surprised at the fact that Meghan didn’t even bother to fake-cry. This dude is practically dying of dehydration, Megs. Make en effort.

But the best part of the after party is all the new celeb friends merching and posting on IG and bragging about meeting the BRF. Congrats on your “new circle” of friends, Harry.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5748627/Funnyman-James-Corden-host-royal-wedding-reception-Frogmore-House.html

https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/suits-cast-will-not-attend-meghan-markle-prince-harrys-evening-wedding-reception/

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5749403/Jessica-Mulroney-makes-moment-royal-wedding-limelight.html

Cheesus, even Nacho was selling cologne with his “evening invite” and I’d always been so proud of him for not using the royal connection on anything but sport and charity business. Guess the rules have changed.

I hear that someone leaked reception pics to the DM and Harry had them taken down. LOLOLOL because hypocrisy much?

Oh, and kudos to Priyanka on merching the Dior “Diana” bag. Bitch does her research.

Jess got a second Pippa “butt pic” in. LOLOLOLOLOL.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5749403/Jessica-Mulroney-makes-moment-royal-wedding-limelight.html%5BIMG%5D//

Her Family

The Markles celebrated with Burger King crowns and television cameras.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5748403/Meghans-uninvited-family-celebrates-wedding-Burger-King-crowns.html

The Website

The BRF website is now officially the TIG. OMG, she’s bragging about her high school volunteering. These people have been doing charity all their lives and she’s bragging about her 9thgrade extracurricular.

https://www.royal.uk/duchess-sussex

I saw a few tweets wondering why she didn’t mention her acting. LOLOLOLOL, this is typical Markle re-invention. In a few months, it will be as if she never acted at all.

Random Stuff

She gave Kate a friendship bracelet!!!! I had an anon who said this would happen. Kudos anon.  It looks like a Claire’s Easter special, and it’s for sale for $450 dollars because of course it is.

https://www.townandcountrymag.com/society/tradition/a20764085/meghan-markle-royal-wedding-gift-bracelet-kate-middleton/

And on a scale of 1 to Millie Mackintosh’s publicist, how good are you at your job? This girl got more publicity out of the wedding than most invitees (Priyanka Chopra excepted, of course).

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-5750035/Millie-Mackintosh-shows-theres-no-hard-feelings-watches-Royal-Wedding-invite-snub.html

Ratings and crowd

18 million in the UK, way less than W&K’s audience of 24 million. 

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2018/may/20/royal-wedding-confirmed-as-years-biggest-uk-tv-event

US ratings were 22.4 a smidgen less than Will and Kate’s 23 million.

https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/tv-ratings-royal-wedding-brings-18-million-viewers-us-broadcast-1113498

They got 4M in Australia which was  close to Will and Kate’s 4.8 million. I thought these numbers were ridiculously low, but then I realized that Australia only has 24 million people. They are smaller than Texas!

https://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/world/royal-family/seven-claims-royal-wedding-ratings-win-as-millions-tune-in/news-story/4b020773c51004c1657ed52322c6802b

Crowd seems to be generally described as “around 100,000.” I can’t find a closer number than that, but I’m guessing it’s going to come out below that.

The BBC trolled Trump with a pic of his inaguration. I loved this because I hate Trump more than I hate Meghan, but, sadly, they are full of shit. Trump was mocked because he said his inaguration crowd was “the biggest ever” and it only pulled in like 240,000 people in the Mall, which is pathetic when compared to Obama’s 800,000. He still, however, pulled in 240k and I’ve heard of Dem “scare the troops into working” emails that screech “don’t’ be complacent because he may have actually gotten 400k, which is an average inaguration crowd!!!!! Get back to door knocking you lazy buttholes.”

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/bbc-trolls-president-trump-with-royal-wedding-crowd-size_us_5b0048f9e4b07309e058bd76

https://www.factcheck.org/2017/01/the-facts-on-crowd-size/

And they seemed to be expecting A LOT more.

https://twitter.com/ParryTom/status/997784606396026881

Conclusion

The general theme here seemed to be “Will & Kate’s wedding, but tackier.” Where the Cambridges stressed family and continuity, the Slutsexes are stressing materialism and celeb worship. Where the Cambridges focused on British heritage and history, the Slutsexes focus on luxury brands and self-promotion. Where the Cambridges had composure and  restraint, the Slutsexes had Hollywood posing and random cursing.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5749175/Anything-Kate-Meghan-Two-familiar-different-Royal-Weddings.html

But at least the Kardashians sent their congratulations.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-5748907/Kim-Kardashian-lovestruck-Prince-Harry-telling-Meghan-Markle-look-amazing-Royal-Wedding.html

http://people.com/royals/royal-wedding-khloe-kardashian-congratulates-meghan-markle/

And the K-Klub even produced a little merger offer. I doubt William will pick them up on it, but the Slutsexes are likely going to have a baby soon so a future Kardashian-Slutsex marriage may not be out of the question.

http://hollywoodlife.com/2018/05/19/khloe-kardashian-wants-true-prince-george-marry-royal-wedding/

The other main theme is, where the hell did the money go? $270k for that David’s Bridal special? No way. The cake was tiny and took no effort. The flowers were plastic. The reception menu was a Costco appetizer platter with a good thesaurus. Did they spend all of Chuck’s money on Meghan’s gotta-catch’em-all Cartier collection and Harry’s new Jag? “Sorry, honeybun, we can’t afford the Jag AND mozzarella. One’s gotta go.” “Oh, hell, just serve them tomato with a basil leaf on top and call it a ‘tartare.’ They are American. They won’t know the difference.”

And, finally, hooray for the celebration of black America. It wasn’t what anyone expected, but I’m sure it will serve Meghan in good stead when she ditches her groom and returns to the States.

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/05/19/world/europe/meghan-markle-prince-harry-wedding.html

http://people.com/royals/meghan-markle-changing-discussions-about-race-in-america/

https://www.newyorker.com/culture/culture-desk/an-american-energy-at-the-royal-wedding-of-prince-harry-and-meghan-markle

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2018/may/20/is-meghan-markle-the-american-the-royals-needed-all-along

Even Piers Morgan was all “well, this is highly significant for the Americans.”

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5749015/PIERS-MORGAN-gives-verdict-ultimate-showbiz-wedding.html

We Americans are amazing. We just conned England into paying $40M for a celebration of out culture. We rock.

This little wedding trip plays to both countries’ psychoses. We get to re-establish our position as the belly-button of the universe by having Britain’s royal family be all about us and our racial wounds, and Britain gets to feel like a world power again by acting like their two-bit hereditary whatnot trumps our first Black First Lady and validates our social progress. It’s the special relationship at its best.

Overall, however, I say this is a win for the BRF.  Long after Meghan has divorced Harry, packed her Diana ring and Cartier collection, the BRF will still have pics of the day they embraced multiculturalism with a gospel-themed wedding with MLK quotes. Well done.

They didn’t look triumphant, though. That last pic of Doria, Charles, Cam, and the Cambridges was, imo, relieved, yet mournful. 

My last thought is, how fucking whipped is this dude? From the “I hope Meghan’s alright” moment to the baby-ish hand-holding, to the aquamarine ring, it was pretty clear (at least to me) that this guy is idiotically in love. I’ve gotten a lot of anons asking me what’s going on behind the scenes and why is she “getting everything she wants” and asking if she’s blackmailing the BRF or something.

I think he’s in love. It’s as simple as that. He’s and idiot and he’s in love and he’s desperate to keep her and he knows this is the way he can keep her—jewels and publicity and Diana crap.

It’s gonna be pretty goddamn tragic when she ditches him the way she has ditched everyone.

I also have a lot of anons asking me what I think will happen next. I think it will be the same stuff we’ve seen until now Harry and Meghan fuck up (engagement dress, nude pics, family drama) and the BRF comes in an saves them (Sandringham, Commonwealth everything, and Charles walking Megs down the aisle). It will be wash, rinse, repeat until they fuck up so magnificently that even the BRF can’t save them. Also, baby rumors around August, baby announcement by September, and baby bump by Eugenie’s wedding. I also think they will go on a “work” spree to try to overshadow the Cambridges who will just roll their eyes and get working on Cambridge #4. We should also see a ton of ill-fitting, untaiilored high fashion “lewks” because this woman has now reached merching Nirvana. 

Cheers.

I’m surprised Meghan’s past isn’t on the headlines yet, especially when Harry and Meghan snubbed a lot of press and photographers from their wedding

Fleet Street is biding their time. They have the goods; they’re just looking for the opportunity. For now they’re just following the wedding high. Once that’s over, then there’ll be no reason to hold back. They’re not going on a honeymoon right afterwards; Harry & Megs are stupidly seeking more press.

It’ll come out sooner than later I have no doubt about that.

image

Is there a reason why KP and the british press are not best buddies right now?

duchessofostergotlands:

I think the New York Times article does a good job of explaining it. It’s also important to remember that Arthur Edwards is the single most respected royal photographer in the country. He’s so well regarded by the royal family that Kate and William have singled him out twice when they’ve come out with their babies. So for him to speak to the press and say something critical of the royals is a big big deal. 

There’s always a love-hate relationship between the UK press and the royal family though. Nothing new.

The media being limited at the wedding has made news in Canada. Arthur Edwards was interviewed by the CBC. He was again saying that the relationship with Harry and the media has gotten more difficult. The royals just dont seem to have a long term strategy when it comes to this. I completely sympathise with them when they blame the paps for Dianas death and I understand being angry when untrue stories are written. But they need the press, the press doesnt need them. KP needs a new comms team

duchessofostergotlands:

I am hoping with every fibre of my being that something good will come out of the Markle shit show and they’ll get a new press team at KP. Please please please. 

More specifically, Harry doesn’t have a long-term press strategy. 

it may be nasty but:  I would like some of the dirt on them before the wedding = collapse of the audiance and some of the dirt on them after the wedding to see the face = we have to face the cameras ….

I’m still hoping the Daily Mail will publish video of Megs doing laps in front of their offices hoping to get papped.

I have no doubt the sex tape will be released before the wedding, supposedly on Friday. I would prefer they publish it earlier since FA Cup final is on Saturday. It’ll get lost in the mix with football.

I’m floored that the British press are actually saying that the reason the DM came out with the photo scandal was because KP sent an IPSO warning to the tabs saying you can’t print the photos because of harassment. This was a warning shot to KP. Back off with the IPSO BS or we will publicly call you out next. I’m thinking Harry is too dumb to see that though. I hope H and M mess up really bad soon and they unleash on everything, including the statement.

anonymoushouseplantfan:

Yep.

On top of all the wise words you have said to the anon who thinks it will take years for Meghan’s dirt to come out, why in heavens name would you think the British press would treat Meghan in any way shape or form the same as they did Diana? Pfft

I did NOT say that the British press would treat Megs in the same way as Diana. That’s why I am laughing so hard.

Re-read it again. Fleet Street isn’t treating Megs like they did Diana back in 1981 even as it stands right now. And they certainly aren’t going to in the coming weeks.

Lainey is so dumb

http://www.laineygossip.com/kensington-palace-releases-statement-after-meghan-markles-father-pulls-out-of-royal-wedding/49896

Megs isn’t “trusty and well-beloved” like Kate. There’s a reason why Megs is never going to get harmless coverage from Fleet Street like Kate. Kate doesn’t have the baggage that Megs has. 

All CelebJihad has to do is release more of Meg’s nudes and sex tape. That will settle the issue once and for all that Kensington Palace won’t be able to make Megs press life “placid.”

And personally, I’d appreciate it if CelebJihad would release that sex tape tomorrow or Thursday. It’d would give us time to appreciate the Decon 1 meltdown of Kensington Palace’s press office right before the wedding. Releasing it on Friday won’t have any effect since the FA Cup final is on Saturday.

Just sayin’.

Fleetstreetfox is interesting but is acting as if the manipulation comes from William or Harry. But why would William be involved in this mess? It’s Harry’s father in law and Meghan’s father. They’re the one who were responsible of him, not William. If they really wanted to help him or stop him, they could have.

anonymoushouseplantfan:

True.

Unfortunately for William, he and Harry currently share a press office. Can’t help but wonder how long that will last.

Sorry but it will take years to expose meghan. The press wouldn’t do it now. Diana’s behaviour was exposed years and years after and still now many considered her just a victim because she built a reputation of victim whatever whenever whoever…i will not surprise to see this also for meghan.

“Years to expose Meghan.”

image

I can’t laugh hard enough at this statement. You clearly have NO CLUE of how things went for Diana. 

The significant things that Diana did happened years after she was married. That’s why things didn’t start until the War of the Waleses. Diana wasn’t whoring it up in sex tapes and yachts before her wedding. Diana had her ENTIRE family at her wedding. 

Megs has ditched so many people in her life by now, and Diana hadn’t done something like that when she was getting married. There are tons of people ready to talk about Megs, and believe me, the UK press is going to give them and their stories a platform much sooner than you think.

You’re in for a rude awakening if you think Fleet Street isn’t getting ready to rip Harry and Megs new orifices on their bottoms. 

I see you got to fleetstreetfox twitter just as I was about to mention it. Lol. He/she makes a good point in one of the tweets…”the only possible reason to demand the photos not to be used while failing to protect Tom is to deny him any possible earnings”… that’s just cold. I also don’t understand why some people are “poor Tom”, the guy spent his career in Hollywood, he knows a thing or two cos he’s seen a thing or two.

anonymoushouseplantfan:

Oh. I didn’t know he had a Twitter. Thanks for the tip!

‘Thomas Markle has risked everything the royals worked for by colluding with the paparazzi’

anonymoushouseplantfan:

The Independent getting to the heart of the matter here:

And:

“[T]o question the reliability of the royals’ communication more broadly…” LOLOLOLOLOL. KP lies people. Everyone knows what Coleman Rayner does. As soon as that tagline appeared on the pics, KP knew what Tom Markle was doing. They just chose to lie about it. It’s about time you all figured that out.

‘Thomas Markle has risked everything the royals worked for by colluding with the paparazzi’

nycrealroyal:

A lot going on behind walls

1- My lovely source (one of them) just learned the hard way, don’t lie to me!

Doria supposed to be here for at least 10 days as off today (May, 15th), hence she would need to learn a few protocols, get to know Harry and even England!

The point is her wighoe daughter failed to fly her mom from US to UK, “Because she got a lot going on in her mind. She is totally distressed and hurt” (sic).

Daily Mail is pissed off at ‘No pants Harry’ and his complaints. So, expect more today coming from all sides just like yesterday. Also expect the poor-harry-and-meghan articles.

Obs. I wrote ‘sic’ not ‘sick’.

Obs2. It’s going to be a long day and week. I can’t stand this lovely person, she is such a human being that truly do deserve a Nobel, the scam Nobel!

Obs3. If I want, I will not release more info…and for YOU, just like at IG, I don’t own you any sort of pics, proofs, receipts or nothing, actually, to none of you. You don’t pay my bills!

Obs4. I won’t be answering any asks during these days, but will be every moment that can be releasing info on here (if the info is public interest, in another words, if it isn’t privileged information).

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHA!!! Sounds like Doria isn’t even going to be there for the wedding. Megs is ghosting HER MOM!!

No wonder her mom was photographed yesterday in LA.

The way things are going H&M will atend the Flower show on the 21 and PC Guarden Party on the 22,to start new pr cycles and have press hype and pr sugar articles about them,because they’re sinking so fast it’s insane..

anonymoushouseplantfan:

Yep, they need a major pr drive now.

However, I think these royal events are horrible choices for a rehab pr drive. They should go back to the small charities in Nottingham and Brighton and hug some minority kids. 

Fleet Street already has their knives out. They’re ready to feast. 

If I were Megs, I’d be hoping that something else is going to save her from the soon-to-be onslaught of all the things she thought couldn’t or wouldn’t be published. Releasing the menu ain’t going to stop it. Neither would a wedding.

‘I can not believe it’s happening this early ”THIS! I thought MM would have at least 1-2 years probably after having the first child until the ‘sugary articles’ stoped and the press began to write that,MM is a trainwreck.But in the months the ‘FashionIcon’ turned into ‘Fashion influencier’ and H&M had to take children out of school to make a crowd at the STEM engagement.What took years for W&M,is happening in months for H&M(they are losing the press coverage hype realy fast)

anonymoushouseplantfan:

I thought they’d have until the first baby too.

British press are sharks. When they smell fresh blood in the water, they know it’s time to feast.

Damn DM ain‘t playing they are on fire 🔥

anonymoushouseplantfan:

Even Tom Sykes is covering it.

https://www.thedailybeast.com/meghan-markles-dad-under-fire-for-staged-photos-ahead-of-royal-wedding

The best part is that KP was sending threatening letters to the media about Meghan’s dad.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5721959/Meghan-Markles-father-STAGED-photos-paparazzi-sold-100-000.html

“Harassed” and “pursued” my bootie. They are such fucking hypocrites. Of course they knew that Tom was working with Coleman Rayner, just like they knew that Doria was working with them too. They are all calling the paps on themselves and then running to IPSO to complain. The question is, how long will the press let them get away with it? 

Dm just exposed Pa Markle tricks…. gloves are coming off (Pa ask for privacy and same as KP lol.)This is getting better, looks like we’re going to start getting some truth bombshell before the I Do’s

anonymoushouseplantfan:

Let’s see if they expose Doria and Meghan too. 

The “racist” laundromat pics were Coleman Rayner.

https://www.nationalenquirer.com/photos/meghan-markle-prince-harry-feud/

The Erdem takeout pics during Invictus were Coleman Rayner.

https://www.express.co.uk/news/royal/862145/Meghan-Markle-Prince-Harry-doggy-bag-takeaway-Invictus-Games-royal-engagement

And the “harassing” pics at her home were also Coleman Rayner.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3898232/Prince-Harry-s-love-s-Meghan-Markle-s-mother-smiles-laughter-asked-romance-actress-daughter.html

The new dad’s blind: this is what happened to Diana. She played with the press, believed she had power, when she said no, they went against her and her hell begun. Since day one I was saying (on a forum) Sparkle wasn’t aware how the british press works – build up first to destroy after – and the RF was letting her hang herself. Can’t believe it’s finally happening!

anonymoushouseplantfan:

EXACTLY.

I can’t believe it’s happening this early.

I’m not. They’re Americans thinking that the British press will act like the American press. The American press has the first amendment and has far more leeway in what they can print, i.e. no IPSO. But the British press is vicious. They put things on the front page that the American press would never do.

I notice the media trying to normalize the really poor choices and low character of M (many trashy lovers, using and abusing family and friends), and they haven’t even gotten to the yachting and first annulled/secret marriage. Why do you think so many people (including media) are acting like we are all like this? I am 42 and no one I am friends with, work with, neighbors with, went to school with or is in my family is like this at all. We would steer clear of people like that.

mizzsmack:

anonymoushouseplantfan:

I am baffled by this too. They are on a “Let he who is without a gay porn ex throw the first stone” kick. It’s like they don’t realize that most people do invite family to their wedding, do keep in touch with their step-siblings, and don’t have nudes online or long-lost porn exes in their lives. They are acting like this is all normal and “relatable.” Um, yeah, sure. 

THIS. A THOUSAND TIMES THIS.

W&K, the future King and Queen had to wait two years for their apartment while they lived in Nottingham. Harry and the woman of ill repute get their apartment, almost the same size as the future King and Queen’s, rushed finished before they are married. Something about this doesn’t wash.

anonymoushouseplantfan:

It may just be the DM stirring the pot. The Doria interview, the R&R dress paid by Charles, and now the huge apartment all make her look bad.

I think it’s a waste of time. All blind glossips, the annoying articles MeghanMania. Everyone says she has a terrible past and juicy stuff, but where is this? The press did not release anything, and the topless pics did not cause any reaction and everything just makes BRF look bad. No press wants to release anything and UK reporters love the brf being tied by a biracial commoner. What makes me furious is that if it was any other good girl who made normal mistakes in past, she would be humiliated

anonymoushouseplantfan:

Actually, this is about par for the course. Here’s the Fergie timeline:

On April 1986 Fergie married Andrew to widespread delight. She was a “breath of fresh air” and was hailed for her humor and naturalness. Little details like her romantic past and family history were swept aside. Her self-confidence during the engagement interview was amazing and she seemed to take royal life in stride. Everyone was charmed by the way they joked with each and by romantic details like Andrew desiring her engagement ring. Yes, he did. Also, they both promised to dedicate themselves to hard work. LOLOLOL.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/lifestyle/1986/07/22/fergie-bedlam-over-the-bride/e0ddc0f5-6a78-444b-be1b-19b4494acf64/?utm_term=.0a0e7ff781d1

Her looks and fashion sense were considered “relatable” and “charming.” 

And everyone expected the marriage to be a success. They were “perfectly suited” even though she had a habit of falling for charming rogues and a family history of bolting, and he was a noted party boy and philanderer.

http://people.com/archive/cover-story-fantastic-fergie-vol-25-no-14/

Even Diana was impressed. This is a quote from the Morton book.

In fact, she was supposedly stealing Di’s “fizz.” She was charming Philip and was considered one of the Firm’s “best assets.”

https://www.vanityfair.com/style/2013/08/princess-diana-sarah-ferguson-relationship

Things only started going downhill a year later, by the Summer of 1987 when Di and Fergie started poking people with umbrellas at Ascot.

http://people.com/archive/cover-story-no-titters-you-two-this-is-serious-vol-28-no-3/

And by March 1988 she was being excoriated for tasteless jokes and bad fashion during during American tour.

http://articles.latimes.com/1988-03-14/news/vw-627_1_fergie-loves-royal

She “promoted UK commerce” by saying that her “knickers were from Marks and Sparks” and the Brits were not amused. The “wicked charm” and “relatable fashion” was not so charming anymore.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/mar/15/sarah-ferguson

Notice that there has been no scandal at this point, and she’s basically behaving the same way she behaved before the wedding when she cracked jokes to the photographers and sent them bottles of champagne.

Then on October 1988 she left her baby girl to go on an Australian holitour with Andrew and the tabloids lost it. Now, this is a whopping FOUR years before the toe-sucking scandal. Nothing bad has happened yet. She’s still the same person, doing the same things. It’s just that perceptions changed.

http://articles.chicagotribune.com/1988-10-26/news/8802100550_1_andy-and-fergie-randy-andy-royal

So, there you go, it takes two years. Yes, Fergie had all the same stories Meghan has now, down to the same phrases and language. It’s uncanny. 

Meghan is actually AHEAD of schedule. Fergie’s first bad stories took a year to surface. Meghan’s are coming out before the wedding has even taken place.

It’s all happening again.

Platel on DM is whacking MM hard – “a burning desire for fame is such an integral part of Meghan Markle’s persona it almost seems to be etched into her DNA”. Ouch.

anonymoushouseplantfan:

Whoa. 

More importantly, what daughter wouldn’t have her dad walk her down the aisle? It’s one of the most poignant rites of passage a father can perform. If Meghan isn’t on his arm, she may regret it for the rest of her life.

Yes, the former TV lighting director is a portly T-shirt-wearing, bearded recluse — and in Meghan’s new world they may not like the cut of his jib. But if he isn’t there in that role, it will say more about Meghan than it does about him.

Read more:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-5640741/Platells-People-Dont-grand-family-Meghan.html#ixzz5DMUICkDg

Mother’s side is also not invited and look who will do her hair www(.)dailymail(.)co(.)uk/news/article-5642571/More-close-family-furious-left-Meghan-Markles-wedding-guest-list(.)html

keepingupwiththebananadrama:

anonymoushouseplantfan:

LOL, the “celebrity vet” is invited. I’m dying here. 

Wait this dude is the one fucking up her hair. Until recently it’s has definitely looked like shit rolled over. Anyways the theme of this wedding guest list will be fame over family. Smh

Don’t you think that all this negative press on her is only going to make it harder for Harry to walk away from her. He must feel bad that she is getting hounded he may even blame himself. if he dumps her now he will look even worse for not supporting her. It’s working in her favor so she may not care about the bad press she gets.

anonymoushouseplantfan:

Maybe, I think he must have expected some kind of press backlash and he likely was, as you say, prepared to defend her.

But I suspect that he was expecting stuff about her nudes and family. I don’t think he was expecting the Diana 2.0 revelations, or the endless parade of people explaining how Meghan pursues people, uses them, and then ditches them once they are no longer of use to her.

The tabs aren’t building a “she’s inappropriate” narrative. They are building a “she’s using Harry for fame, the way she has used everyone else” storyline, and they have copious amounts of material backing them on this one.

I think, as you say, he was prepared to defend her. I don’t think he was prepared to look like a fool while doing it.